Boomer’s Parents Experience Holiday “Blues”
Knowing the signs of and remedies for depression
Chris Shogren-Thompson
Grab your calendar. This is the last month of the year. Holiday celebrations have been penciled in. Special events have been circled. Holiday music plays non-stop on the radio. Cards and gifts are in the mail – well at least in theory. Our kids and grandkids have given us their “wish” lists and mom and dad ask us, “Please don’t get me anything because I have everything I could ever want.”
As we plan for the holidays, it is important for boomers to be aware of the fact that the “King of Rock–n–Roll” Mr. Elvis himself, sang of a real issue that many of our parents and grandparents face during the holidays, “A Blue Christmas.” According to The American Geriatrics Society Foundation for Health in Aging www.healthinaging.org, the holiday season can be a source of the blues, especially for older individuals.
Often during the holidays, senior citizens find themselves reflecting on the brevity of life and increasing health concerns. Given the current economic times, they may worry about their limited financial resources. And with the focus on family gatherings, the miles separating them from family members can make it difficult to enjoy day-to-day life.
While the blues are often temporary, depression can last longer and be more serious. The AGS Foundation indicates that it is important to recognize some of the clear warning signs of depression: a perpetual sadness; indifference to life or things which bring joy; a change in eating habits, weight, or sleep; frequent crying; a sense of worthlessness, helplessness or guilt; slowed thought process; and suicidal or death thoughts.
If an elderly loved one shows signs of depression or holiday blues, there are practical responses for you.
Be quick to listen. Listening can act as a small step toward lifting moods. Encourage the “blues” sufferer to talk about their feelings. It is important for you to acknowledge the difficulties they are experiencing. Understand they may feel a sense of loss from death or relocation of dear friends and family.
Purposing to include the elderly in accomplishing holiday to-do lists can give a sense of usefulness. Invite them to join you as you shop, wrap gifts, bake, cook, decorate your home, or mark off any task from your list.
Bring them to visit a friend or a shut-in. Many of their friends may be home bound or living in nursing homes or assisted living facilities. A visit can serve as a fulfillment for both individuals.
Be aware of volunteering opportunities within the community they live. Churches, schools, civic organizations all welcome helping hands during the holidays. United Way can be a great resource www.unitedway.org also. Finding ways to volunteer and help others is a great impetus to holiday cheer.
If grandchildren or great-grandchildren participate in holiday programs, make a special effort to invite grandparents to attend the performances, taking into account transportation and handicap needs if necessary.
When attending a play or musical, purchase an extra ticket and invite the loved one to join you. Having a special event to attend with people you care about can give individuals something to look forward to when experiencing a lack of purpose and loneliness.
If your loved one has accessibility to a computer, set up SKYPE or another form of video chatting, so they can talk with grandchildren and children who are unable to visit on a regular basis. Encourage them to join a social networking site, such as Facebook, as a means to connect with both friends and family across the country. Writing a letter, either through e-mail or the old fashioned snail mail is another effective way to become involved in family happenings.
Hosting a holiday event can be overwhelming, even for the most seasoned hosts. If get-togethers will take place at their home, offer to help shop and prepare the food, in addition to preparing their home for the anticipated guest list. Arriving a few hours early in order to help on the big day can relieve unnecessary stress.
If you suspect your loved one is battling depression, it is important to effectively communicate with them your concerns. Don’t be afraid to discuss with them the fact that depression is a medical illness which can be treated by a health care professional. Reassuring them that their condition is nothing to be ashamed of is also paramount.
Whether the holidays are deemed as “Blue” by Elvis, “Green” by the Grinch, or “White” by Bing Crosby, boomers have the ability to influence which outlook aging loved ones will have.
Don’t wait for someone else to look after your loved ones. Don’t assume everything is okay because it always has been okay. Spend time talking with and visiting those you call “dear”, assuring the holidays for them are a joyful occasion for everyone concerned.
Chris Shogren-Thompson currently serves as Vice President on The Board of Education in Winthrop Harbor, IL and is a contributing writer to www.REELChicago.com.
