The Wedding Prize
According to The Bridal Association of America, the average 2009 wedding cost $30,860. Author and Baby Boomer Chris Shogren-Thompson, a four-term elected School Board member, a volunteer and the mother of the bride, took the innovative route to get our daughter to YES on LESS.
No character is more identifiable for parents of the bride and groom than Steve Martin playing the penny pinching Father of the Bride, George Banks. We did not have a Franck in our lives to guide us through the wedding planning. We had Google. And any amount of googling showed us that wedding budgets can break the bank.
On July 4, 2008, Dan proposed to my daughter. They, like 69 percent of all engaged couples, had known each other more than three years. They dated for 6 years. She was 20, he 24. Their bank accounts were at a zero-balance and they were counting on us to put on their July 4, 2009 wedding. Not a big deal, we thought. We quickly realized we had a challenge. We needed to put together a “Star-Spangled Wedding” for 225 people on a $10,000 budget versus $30,000 for the average 169 wedding guests.
My daughter would not let her dad pull out his 1970s tux, and cupcakes would not replace the wedding cake. The wedding and reception would be picture perfect, creating an explosion of fireworks unlike any of the displays our guests would be missing that Saturday evening.
In a word: resourceful.
“The Healthy Bride” (a website and bridal fitness directory) states the average engagement time is 17 months. This gives you plenty of time to think outside of the box. On less time, it’s amazing what a friend can provide, an organization can lend, a clearance sale can garner, creativity can make, and time can allot.
As Boomers, the tentacles of our network expand to far-reaching depths. We give our time in the community, the church, and within various organizations. More often than not, you’ll find one of the groups you’ve worked with willing to assist in your wedding needs.
We looked at country clubs, restaurants, halls, forest preserves, schools, tent rentals, and more. In the end, the reception took place at an unexpected setting, a family friend’s home which housed a pole barn. That’s right. We transformed a pole barn sitting on eight acres of property into a reception hall, the driveway into a dance floor and the breezeway into a buffet line. The venue equated to the first of many wedding gifts given by friends and family.
With a blank slate, we needed some basics: tables, chairs, china, glasses, coffee cups, and silverware.
Our church provided the tables for free. We just needed to transport them. Another church provided the tableware for free. We were simply responsible for washing the dishes within one day of the reception.
We went off the beaten path looking for a caterer, and we found the road to the White House. The chefs fired up grills, providing shish-kabobs for the adults and hot dogs for the kids. The tantalizing skewers spiced up the buffet line, leaving no one hungry and many asking for the name of that caterer.
We learned a trick of the trade when ordering the cake. With a picture in hand, the couple asked if the celebratory cake could be the U.S. Capitol building, in honor of their location when they became engaged. The bakery let us know that cake would equal 15 percent of the couple’s overall budget. So we considered the dome vs. the building. The cost dropped. If the wedding cake fed 100 people, we could serve the rest of the guests with two full sheet cakes served from the kitchen, and they would never know the difference. The cost dropped again. And then the good news came. The cake would be gifted by a family member.
Friends donated their time and sometimes their resources. They painted 10 cent flower pots, planted white impatiens, cleaned the pole barn, move equipment, searched for elusive clearance items, and decorated the church. All simply because they are friends.
It’s amazing how a printer, the dollar store, ribbon, and a can of spray paint can make just about anything look like a million bucks. We scoured local craft stores to create invitations for our “Capital Fourth.” Die cutting close to 350 capitol buildings, printing invitations, making our own 12-step envelopes with a DC closure, signifying the groom and bride, Dan and Chelsea. The custom made stationary cost less than $1.
The wedding dress was bought on clearance, one-third of its original cost. A beautician friend donated the bride’s up-do. Music was provided by some of the most talented performers in our region—artists my daughter and her fiancée sang or played with (they’re musicians too) over the years. Not necessarily free, but definitely discounted.
Linens are expensive to buy or to rent, but we found an online fabric wholesaler Vogue Fabrics in Evanston, Illinois where we purchased luxurious table linens at a $1.29 per fabric yard, a 90 percent discount. Granted, we sewed. We sewed 30 navy blue tablecloths. They were unmatched by any linen bought in a store and laid the backdrop for “A Capitol Fourth” tablescape.
Fresh flowers were untouchable at an affordable price. But expensive silks bought on clearance a year in advance created a $125 wedding bouquet for $13 with opulent red roses and a grandmother’s cameo adorning the ribbon wrapped stems.
The limousine ride came without a price tag, the cost picked up by a friend. Coloring books were designed for the kids’ entertainment. Crayons were packaged in tandem. Fans announcing the menu were fashioned of crystal knives and cardstock. Packages adorned with a photo of the bride and groom contained Ronald Reagan’s Jelly Bellies. Portraits of our nation’s presidents served as table numbers. The belly flops served on the menu may not have been perfect in size, but were perfect in good ’ole American apple pie taste and in price. Candles illuminated the tables, while stars and giant homemade white poms hung from the barn rafters like stars across the night sky.
As the guests drove up the mile-long gravel drive, the sun shone through the cascading forest of trees, creating an illusion that every two-inches traveled was worth a dollar. Like the prize in a Cracker Jack box, the special event was oh-so-much more than just a trinket in a square inch. It was a gem discovered, like true love.
Photography by www.crossworksphotography.com.
Reader's Responses
Comments
Very nice piece. This will appeal to a large segment of your audience. Pictures are great as well. Love the Steve Martin into.
Great Job!!!
By Mike Willkomm on 2010 03 04
